Confession #9: I don't work out. I play.

I'm skinny. It's true. It's genetic. Also, I don't have six-pack abs.

Okay, got that out of the way. But I suppose I should clarify a little so that I make just a touch more sense.

As a child and teenager, I ate a lot. My brother and I used to have contests to see who could eat the most pancakes. I could eat a lot of pancakes. Once a school bully passed me in the hall after lunch and said, "Hey anorexic." I think she thought it would hurt me. What she didn't know is that I had just eaten lunch. Not just my whole tray full of lunch but all the pieces of my friends' lunches that they didn't want. I remember smiling at my locker because I couldn't understand how any one could think I was anorexic.

In my life, I put on weight once. I lived in Russia for a few months and my host mom seriously thought I was starving. She shoved food at me. And that food stuck for some reason. I think because it had a higher fat content (lots of oil) and my body was still adjusting to the fact that my activity levels had dropped dramatically in the last year. (Intense runner before; injuries led to being forced to slow down.)

When I say I "put on weight", I mean I added about 10-15 pounds. I was still in a healthy weight range. I don't think most people noticed. Why would they? (All the pictures in this post are from this stage.)

I don't count pregnancies as putting on weight. That's baby weight which is the creation of a life form. But, if you want to look at those, I lost weight with my first child and maintained my weight with my second.

That's a little background. Here's the reason this is a post topic.

Frequent comment this past year: "You just had a baby! Wow! You look great!"

I don't know how to respond to this because it's tied to a societal struggle that I wish didn't exist. I didn't want to burst their bubble but the reasons I looked great either weren't things I could control or weren't happy reasons.

Here's the reasons I looked great right after having a baby:

• Genetics. Look at my family tree. We're skinny people. Trust me, skinny doesn't prevent heart problems or other health problems. However, we can eat pretty horribly, miss the exercise, and not gain enough weight for society to notice and deem us worthy of their concern.
• Stress. My husband left me three weeks before Baby Brother was born. Yeah, I struggled to eat. I forced myself to eat. I had a baby to grow. But it wasn't enough to keep me from losing weight. (The reality of the matter is that a woman's body typically ensures the baby grows at the expense of the mother. Not always but usually.)
• More genetics. I have a stomach problem I inherited from my mother. We're still trying to figure it out a bit but basically sweets, lack of sleep, over abundant stress results in a very unhappy tummy. And when you're tummy is unhappy, who wants to eat?
• More stress. Some people eat more when stressed. I eat less. I lose my appetite when depressed. I forget to eat because other things are on my mind. Without the baby inside, I struggled to make myself eat.
• Keeping up is hard. It is really, really hard to work full-time, manage two little kids, and still find a way to put dinner on the table. So dinner usually isn't very exciting. My kids don't care. But sometimes I struggle with it. Then I get really distracted during dinner trying to feed both kids. I'm pretty good at using both hands so that multiple mouths get food. But the result is, sometimes I forget to eat enough. If I don't get dinner on the table, I usually forget to pack lunch for the next day. Even if I do pack lunch, I get so busy working through lunch so I can keep up that I often forget to eat until it's too late.

Now, before you get too worried, I've already made food a focus and do much better eating. Not perfect but much better.

My point with this. Why in the world are you complimenting me for an unhealthy lifestyle? I think women who just had a baby should rejoice in their "baby fat". Life was created! A large part of me wanted the baby fat. Because then maybe my family wouldn't have had to go through all the awful we went through.

On the other hand, I believe in properly caring for your body. I'm not encouraging people to overeat or not to exercise or engage in other unhealthy habits. My point so far was just to provide the truth of the matter. I didn't "look great" because I was healthy. In fact, I was extremely unhealthy.

Let's talk working out. For the past year I've been working to become more physically healthy. Step one was to eat better. Stop weight loss. No more missing meals. It's not perfect yet. But well on it's way to being on track.

Step two was to increase exercise. I really struggled with this until I realized that I really wasn't struggling with it as much as I thought I was struggling. See, I was trying to fit a mold. I felt that to exercise meant I needed to work out. So I tried to figure out some work out routine that would work for me.

I love to run. But running wasn't an option because I'd have to leave the house and I have two little boys in bed. Yes, I have a double-jogger stroller. But, the sidewalks near my house weren't made to be ran on with a double-jogger stroller. So to go running with my kids, I'd have to load all of us up in the car to go to the paved trail. Right...

I tried jump roping. But I had to be up before my boys so I wouldn't worry about hitting them. I didn't want to buy a work out program plus I own one. But the same problem as jump roping. Kids everywhere. (Note: I already get up early because school starts early. By the time they go to bed, I'm too exhausted to work out.)

I kept making goals. Try this. Try that.

Then I realized that I got plenty of exercise so why was I so worried about working out? Here's what I discovered is my "work out":

• Legs: Walking. I love taking my boys on walks. Walks to the park. Walks to the library. Walks to the Farmer's Market. Walks just to walk. We love to walk. Pushing that jogging stroller up that hill with 50 pounds of kid plus however much the stroller weighs is a work out. Same with holding it back so it doesn't run away without me as we walk down the next hill. 
• More legs: Jumping. Dancing. Tip-toeing. Chase. 
• Arms: "Fly me around, Mama!" says Big Brother in his Buzz Lightyear box. He weighs 30 pounds. Baby Brother is also a huge fan of flying. (He gets to fly a lot more than Big Brother since he weighs just over 20 pounds.)
• More arms: Dancing. Picking up toys. Picking up kids. Lots of picking up kids...
• Core: This is a little trickier for me to categorize. Bending to tickle. Up to chase. Bend to tickle. Up to chase. Laughing. 
• More core: Wrestling on the floor. Also, rolling back and forth with Baby Brother and, sometimes, Big Brother. (Baby Brother loves this. Basically I lie flat on my back. Baby Brother lies on top of me. I hold him in my arms so he doesn't go flying off. Then I quickly roll back on forth. Close to squishing him but not quite. His own personal mini-roller coaster.)

Once I made this discovery, exercise became much easier. When I feel like I'm sitting around too much or realize I haven't been very active that day, I get up and play with my kids. Not only do I get my exercise but I feel so much happier because I'm spending time doing something that helps them be happy.

My point is that I think that sometimes we end up on the wrong side of the whole eating and working out thing. Yes, I know there's an obesity problem. There's also an anorexia problem. (Which is not my problem. I struggle to eat but not because I fear I'm obese.) Most of us have an eating problem of some kind. Focus on your problem not the problems of other people. Let your doctor help you, let your body help you, don't let society help you.

Same with working out. I love that there are so many work out options. And I'm happy when I see people who love their work out. But I'm unhappy that some people, like me, who get a reasonable amount of exercise yet feel guilty because they're not "working out". So again, let your doctor help you, let your body help you, don't let society help you.

(By society, I mean the pressures of society such as all the Facebook nonsense about whether or not people are fat. I don't mean variety of resources that are accessible to help you such as nutrition facts or that work out DVD you love. Just do your research and find something that makes you healthy and happy.)

I'm not the epitome of health. But I am the expert when it comes to my body because I live with it every day and I try to understand it. I don't know your body. But I do know mine.

Lastly, the six-pack abs. That comes from the latest comment I received related to my size. I was at a conference and they had these cream-cheese danishes. I was talking to a woman there about the danishes as we contemplated eating one. I don't remember our full conversation but I do remember both of us ending up with a danish. Also, that she commented that I could afford to eat one since I had six-pack abs. I guess you can't tell through clothing but I don't have six-pack abs. Skinny, yes. Toned, no. That would require more focus...