Confession #3: I write motivational messages on mirrors.

I wrote that one earlier this week. After a frazzled day with the boys. A day that was good but made me wonder a bit if I was cut out to be a supermom. I wrote my message to keep me motivated. Like in one of my favorite stories, "The Little Engine that Could". "I think I can. I think I can." And then you do.

Because life is beautiful but life is hard. It's exhausting. It's easy to get overwhelmed. It's easy to listen to all of the negative voices in your head. Because sometimes they're right. You didn't keep up. Your house is a mess. You got frustrated after the zillionth thing that went wrong. (Or the only thing that went wrong that day...) But most of the time, these voices are wrong. Or, at least, awfully distorted.

I didn't do this while I was married. I guess I was a bit embarrassed that I might need motivational messages to keep me going. But after the divorce, I found these types of messages really helped. In a good moment after reflecting and realizing that I was indeed amazing, I would pause and put up a new motivational message on my bathroom mirror. Because these "good moments" usually came after the really "bad moments". Moments when I was hurting so bad that I didn't think I could go on. Moments where the negative voices in my head (and sometimes outside my head) told me how awful and worthless I was.

So I put a motivational message on my mirror. I figured no one else would see them (or at least no one who could read) so they could be deeply personal. But I would see them every time I looked in the mirror. They filled my mind with positive, good thoughts. Thoughts that helped me tell the negative voices they were liars. Thoughts that gave me the courage to keep getting up in the morning (or go to bed at night.)

I don't face the level of discouragement I faced last year but I want to be a calm, loving mother. So now these motivational messages make me smile and help remind me what's most important and how capable I am.

Plus they lead to brilliant ideas like this:

Yep, that's Buzz Lightyear on our hall closet mirror. One night this week my boys were gone and I saw my motivational message on the mirror. And had an "ah ha!" moment. It floated in my brain a bit and then materialized on the mirror this morning. There was a time in my life when I said I couldn't draw. I still struggle and it takes me a bit but years of teaching various kids (which often requires drawing)  has improved my skills. I did Google a Buzz Lightyear coloring page to help me out.

In case you're wondering, Buzz Lightyear
mirror selfies are hard to take..

I can't wait until Monday when Big Brother finds it! 

I'm so excited!